25 Apr baltimore maryland
hello zero people who read this! haha!
it’s just for me anyhow, i have kept journals all my life. i have multiple blogspot blogs from over the years…and i have so much written down. sometimes i think why keep all these words about my life and my ups and downs….i keep it because my life from 0-18 i have nothing…..zero things. ok i have a few photos my cousin sent me and a few weird stories i wrote in HS but that’s all stuff i kept myself anyhow……never had a spot to keep stuff either so i have been doing that marie kondo shit for a long ass time and so it is that i pare down again to move to the southern united states.
america is so big!
anyhoooooo…..baltimore! i am so so so going to miss it here. it’s been the best city i have ever lived in or rather the one i have felt most comfortable in…..
in 2015 freddie gray was given a rough ride and died a week later and there was some bullshit information about high school kids staging a purge at mondawmin when school let out and from all i have read and seen (the MTA won’t release their videos…..years later even!) the police and MTA managed to strand a lot of kids in one place angering them to a point of no return…..there was a fuck ton of kids who didn’t want to even be there….but because MTA stopped running any transit and cops closed down the streets what the actual fuck did they think would happen?
that sort of changed a lot of things but it also kept it very much the same.
during the unrest i walked everyday with people from my neighborhood…..then i would bike to where the national guard and the police from all up and down this coast were staging in the parking lots between the stadiums…..i did get chased once by a cop who told me i wasn’t allowed there…..i yelled that i was allowed to be there and rode off on my bike….he chased me a while but thanks be to adrenaline right? haha.
the week long coup of a tiny city 40 minutes away from DC was legit fucking weird.
while people were kept in their homes in west baltimore the folks living in predominantly white parts of town were not held to the same curfew standards. because we didn’t grow up in a highly visible police state, it was fucked up to go to work with fucking guards everywhere and gear and swat teams and tanks and giant army vehicles….pretty crazy how quickly a giant group of militarists can be called to any given location.
the murder rate went up after his death.
my boss says that a lot of the killings now are from low level turf shit because the police have been trying to lock up the higher ups leaving the underlings with more to prove to see if they can move up. gangs and street turf is a real thing! why don’t people talk about these things as much as they do school shootings. there have been many shootings here that would be considered a ‘mass shooting’ but they don’t get national news coverage.
this city has about 600 thousand residents.
300 plus a year killed just by a gun
over 1000 people shot and injured but lived
heroin overdoses are close to 1500 and heroin OD deaths are higher than shootings coming in around 700 or so last year…..there is a very big divide here…..people blame hogan and his being republican for the city’s problems but i think that is disingenuous since he has only been governor for four years…..
no one liked the mayor it seems who was in office when i moved here, rawlings blake.
before her was sheila dixon who was involved in a gift card scam….
they are corrupt from the mayor on down…..the FBI and IRS went into catherine pugh’s home and offices this morning due to her being on leave for 4 weeks and no one has seen her or really talked to her…..about her healthy holly book scam.
in order for baltimore to thrive i think all these clowns should be replaced with people maybe not from here or some not democrats…..i voted for mayor and voted for the green party guy because the other options sucked balls and we all knew who was going to win.
again my issues with voting! we all know here who will win electoral votes in the national election…everyone knows who will win the statewide house and senate races. all god damn democrats….have a look sometime at the congressional district maps of maryland. i live in the wee bit of the grasshopper looking one….district one.
i don’t want to vote anymore….but i am moving to texas where once again my vote might actually make a difference……so they say. texas cities are skewing bluer and bluer though and once a democrat wins the electoral college in texas…that’s it….
the world is weird to me sometimes and i don’t feel like i belong.
sometimes i am an asshole…..i called this dude a dick to his face the other day.
i was walking out of the coffee shop with kiddo in stroller and this man left before us and he looked at me and then held the door so i was like cool thanks and then he let go of the door and the stroller banged into it…..some other dude got up and i said oh i thought that guy was going to hold the door for me hahaha and thanked him and went outside and said excuse me you’re a dick….i don’t know what possessed me…..i guess without social media i have to just do my commenting in REAL LIFE TIME.
at least on may the first i will be able to make my plans!
i might be going alone to texas! i am ok with this, i will just cross my fingers they let me rent at the same complex as my bosses……it’s a nice place north of the city lots of pools and playgrounds, a bike maintenance center!
but if i don’t go alone then a home will be sought because i am not really a fan of apartments.
i am working on not being stressed out! it’s not easy because i am a planner i like logistics being set
i have a month and a half to get housing and rent trucks and pack and clean and well to be honest i am psycho so i have most of my shit ready to go because i grew up always being ready to go at a moments notice….i have had a bit more than a moment but i am still ready now!
i have a week off i want to go camping.
oh life…it’s bigger….bigger than you and you are not me
in conclusion baltimore is fucking amazing though i have had a great time getting to know my HS kids lives and how trauma affects us when we grow up no matter the kind of trauma.
for the kids they see in my i think someone who made it out okay against some odds.
i am glad i have been able to connect with a few of them outside of that job i had…..i don’t have kids of my own so these people…they’re my kids….and i love them all
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